Thursday, August 17, 2017


Charlottesville, Virginia
Friday, August 11th

"Hey, everyone!  Did you hear?  I sold one HUNDRED Tiki torches!"
"Way to go, Stewart!  YOU ROCK!!"


Charlottesville, Virginia
Saturday evening, August 12th

"Hey, did you hear?  They let Stewart go."
"Yeah, that dude was a real A-Hole."

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Captain Caption CXLV

"We were told there'd be a barbecue.
What the f...did EVERYone bring a frikkin' tiki torch?
Didn't ANYone bring burgers and dogs?
Stupid GD Nazis."

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Circle of Life

"Hey, any of you guys seen Doug?"
"Last I checked, he was hauling this huge piece of hot dog bun off Penwasser's back deck."
"Huge?  Why didn't any of you mutts give him a hand?"
"We didn't have to.  We can lift many times our own weight.
We're ants, Lou.  Duh."
"So what happened to hi...yeah, Stewart?"
"Well, all of a sudden, we saw this foot-shaped shadow.  We got the hell outta there, but Doug thought it was an eclipse."
"What?  Who'd be stupid enough to think that?"
"Well, we're not terribly bright, you know.
Once again...ants."

Monday, August 7, 2017


In related news, Governor Christie plans to go hang-gliding that day.

"For the love of God, HE JUST DOESN'T STOP!!"

"I know, right?"
"Tell me about it."

Hey, is that a cheeseburger?"

"Eclipse, huh?  I love to see me any kinda moon!"



Thursday, August 3, 2017

Captain Caption CXLIV

"Whoa...are you frikkin' kiddin' me, playa?
Wisconsin sells cheese curds?
Which can go on doughnuts!?
Get the shit?"