Friday, March 11, 2011

Dirty Penguin

******The following joke is not mine.  In fact, I don’t remember when or where I first heard it.  Still, I think it’s pretty funny in a sophomoric, “giggle at farts” kind of way.  But, if it’s not funny, well at least it’s not one of mine.****** 

    While driving home from Long John Silvers one day, a penguin noticed a troubling noise coming from his car (OK, OK, I know.  Flightless waterfowl can’t drive.  Lighten up.  It’s a joke.)  Realizing his flippers could never wrap themselves around a wrench (Or a steering wheel.  I get it!!), he decided to take it in to the dealer to have it looked at.
    The mechanic took a quick look and told the penguin (OK, WHY he didn't think it was odd talking to a penguin, I don't know, either.) he'd have to put it on a lift for a look.
    Pointing to a coffee shop across the street, he suggested, "It's gonna be about a half hour.  Why don't you go over there and have a coffee or something?"
    Having no choice, the penguin agreed and off he went.  As he sat down at the counter, he was disappointed to see they did not serve herring so he selected vanilla ice cream, instead (I know, there's no logical connection between fish and ice cream.  Bear with me, we’re almost done.).
    Since he had no hands (the only part of the joke which makes any sense), he was forced to stick his beak in the bowl and eat.  This, of course, made a mess of ice cream all over his face.
    Thirty minutes passed before he looked at the clock and saw that his car was done.  He paid his bill (this “bird-themed” joke is too obvious) and waddled out the door without wiping his face (I know you ladies are thinking, "He didn't wipe his face!?  Yep, he’s a male penguin!").
    He greeted his mechanic just as the car was coming down off the lift, "Well, do you know what's wrong?"
    The mechanic fixed him with a serious look and said, "Looks like you blew a seal."
    Nonplussed, the penguin replied, "Naw, it's just ice cream."

Ba Dum Bum

Next:  A Penwasser original!


  1. You are sooooo bad. I'm nonplused as to why you posted it. Oh that's claim no ownership with it. Wise choice, lol.

  2. You can almost see how that joke was constructed. The creator must have thought of the 'blew a seal' line and built up from there. Nothing ruins a joke like over-analysis.

  3. @Clipped: does "nonplussed" mean I'm subtracted?
    @OT: "Flipping." Nice......
    @Tony: I think you're dead on. Sometimes, when I tell a joke, I first latch onto the punch line (e.g., "hadda hand it to her" when talking about a blind hooker). Then, I build the joke around it. I'll bet that's what happened here.
    @Eva: at least PG-13!
    @Core: 1 outta 10?

  4. Much better than a Penguin having coffee, for Christ's sake. Your inserts were funnier than the joke, but it was cute. I love me some penguins! I wasn't aware there were Long John Silvers in cold weather areas so you taught me something.. I think.

  5. Thanks! I do try to inject a little of my own commentary when I plagiarize. We in fact had Long John Silvers in New England when I was growing up (before that, it was Arthur Treachers Fish and Chips).

  6. lmfo, fomi (laugh my fippers off, fell off my iceberg!)

    very good!

  7. Hi,
    this is a very interesting blog!
    slowly, I will translating and reading...!
    greetings from São Paulo, :)

  8. Hi, Denise! Bievenidos (I know that's Spanish, but my Portuguese isn't any good). Brazil is the first country I visited after I joined the Navy. In 1977, I went to Salvador and Rio, where I bought beer and a little wooden man.

  9. LMAO! I've never heard that one before. Thanks for posting!

  10. You are funny. Great delivery and very realistic. Vanilla ice cream, boring as that is, beats herring hands or wings down.

  11. Obviously you made the joke far better than it's original form. Obviously.