Thursday, August 17, 2017

Karma

Lowes
Charlottesville, Virginia
Friday, August 11th

"Hey, everyone!  Did you hear?  I sold one HUNDRED Tiki torches!"
"Way to go, Stewart!  YOU ROCK!!"

Lowes

Charlottesville, Virginia
Saturday evening, August 12th

"Hey, did you hear?  They let Stewart go."
"Yeah, that dude was a real A-Hole."

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Captain Caption CXLV

"We were told there'd be a barbecue.
What the f...did EVERYone bring a frikkin' tiki torch?
Didn't ANYone bring burgers and dogs?
Stupid GD Nazis."

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Circle of Life

"Hey, any of you guys seen Doug?"
"Last I checked, he was hauling this huge piece of hot dog bun off Penwasser's back deck."
"Huge?  Why didn't any of you mutts give him a hand?"
"We didn't have to.  We can lift many times our own weight.
We're ants, Lou.  Duh."
"So what happened to hi...yeah, Stewart?"
"Well, all of a sudden, we saw this foot-shaped shadow.  We got the hell outta there, but Doug thought it was an eclipse."
"What?  Who'd be stupid enough to think that?"
"Well, we're not terribly bright, you know.
Once again...ants."

Monday, August 7, 2017

Coincidence?


In related news, Governor Christie plans to go hang-gliding that day.



"For the love of God, HE JUST DOESN'T STOP!!"

"I know, right?"
"Tell me about it."

"Testify.
Hey, is that a cheeseburger?"

"Eclipse, huh?  I love to see me any kinda moon!"




"Shit."


"Sigh....."

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Captain Caption CXLIV

"Whoa...are you frikkin' kiddin' me, playa?
Wisconsin sells cheese curds?
Which can go on doughnuts!?
Get the f...no shit?"

Monday, July 31, 2017

I Miss the Days When People Had a Sense of Humor Part II

The actual video is in Part I.
 I just wanted to provide this image so that you
can get an idea what I'm talking about.
You're welcome.
    This post really isn't about people losing a sense of humor.  That point is more aptly made in Part I.  

    Hmm, come to think of it, I really didn't explain the meaning behind the post title there, either.  Guess I just figured you'd get what I was driving at.  And I didn't feel like typing because I had the pool...and beer.  Mostly beer.  

    Anyway, we used to laugh quite handily at ridiculous things in the past without worrying about getting anyone's knickers in a knot. That's my point.

    Like I wrote in Part I, I posted a picture on Facebook a few days ago which mocked Trump's transgender ban.  Rather, it made fun of transgenders in the military.  Whatever.  It was just a bit of "smartassery" (not a real word, but should be) on my part.  As promised in Part I (really promoting Part I, huh?), here's the picture to which I refer.

NOTE:  I didn't copy the caption exactly, but it's close enough.  So, don't call me on it, Facebook followers.

"Okay, the first battalion will deploy at dawn when we'll po...what, Captain?"
"Uh, Sergeant Major Jorgensen won't be able to go, General.
He's starting hormone therapy tomorrow."
"What...what the hell kind of cockamamie horseshit is that, Lou?"
"It's not cockamamie, sir.  And call me Loretta."

   By the way, didn't anyone get where I was inspired by the Monty Python sketch?

    All right, all kidding aside (as if), here is my opinion of transgenders in the U.S. military.  Please bear in mind that what I think is thoroughly irrelevant and will probably tick off, at least in part, everyone.

    First, I think a person who lops off their junk or undergoes "Add-a-Dick-To-Me" surgery is a freak. My sincere apologies to those who don't share that opinion.  I won't change how I feel no matter how many times I'm told that these poor unfortunates are just trying to align their internal wiring with their external appendages.

    If you've seen how I treat Caitlyn/Bruce Jenner, you've probably gained some insight into my philosophies in that regard.  I know I said that I would hold off on mocking her/him/it, but she/he/it just won't shut up.  So, like Chelsea Clinton, Grandma, Governor Tubby, and Orange Julius, she/he/it is fair mocking game.
"I don't see why.  All I do is...hey, you gonna eat that?"
    But (and this is where I would probably part ways with some of my conservative friends), if a soldier, sailor, airman, Marine, or Coast Guardsman is fit to serve and can serve, who am I to deny them the ability?

    Just do NOT expect me to pay for gender reassignment surgery
"Snip, snip here...snip, snip there..."
or take up your slack because you cannot fulfill your responsibilities.


    Frankly, what business is it of mine what your proclivities are?  I know some folks say that having to serve with these folks would undermine morale. To them I say, you need to get over it.  As long as the person "has your back," nobody cares how you feel.  Similar to my belief that they are freaks, keep that kind of stuff to yourself.

Although, we did wonder about
those guys in Engineering.
    I've been asked if there were any transgenders when I served in the military.  I honestly admitted that I didn't know.  There probably were (just as there were homosexuals in the military, too). Nobody made a big deal about it. Because a lot (probably most) didn't care.

    The above may sound rambling, but I figured I'd address it.

    Make no mistake about it, I will continue to mock those who deserve mocking.  I will ridicule situations which deserve ridicule.

    After all, isn't that why you visit Penwasser Place?  It surely can't be because I validate parking.

"And don't call me Shirley."

Meanwhile, on the Korean Peninsula...

"They fight and fight over soldier cutting weenie off and getting boobies.
Runkheads."

Sunday, July 30, 2017

I Miss the Days When People Had a Sense of Humor Part I

    For  those unfortunate enough to follow me on Facebook, I posted a picture a few days ago which made fun of the current dust-up about Trump's transgender ban in the U.S. military.  

    For the lucky sort who don't follow me, I'll post that picture in Part II.  

    But, to give you an idea of what's "behind the comedy" (or whatever else you want to call the horrid dreck I inflict upon you), this was the sketch (from Monty Python's Life of Brian) I was thinking of when I posted the aforementioned dreck.

See you in Part II!


Next:  I give you my opinion about what's going on.  An opinion which I admit is completely irrelevant (aka "Who gives a rat's ass what you think, Penwasser?).